For the Love of Daughter

If you don't know this band - Let me introduce you!

Daughter. Credit: Marika Kochiashvili from ourculturemag.com They are an Indie trio from London, and consist of Igor Haefeli, Elena Tonra, and Remi Aguilella.

Several weeks ago (OK, December 18th, to be exact), as I was watching the show Shrinking (Season 2, Episode 11), I squealed with delight as I heard the first couple of chords to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands! I don’t know about you, but whenever one of my favorite songs/artists hits a show or film, I get insanely happy and emotional. I especially love it when it works well with whatever is going on in the show/film. And this instance was just fantastic!¹ I immediately sent links to my sister, who is the reason I got addicted to Shrinking.

I’m hoping that the song’s appearance on the show will expose more people to this amazing band! They are also phenomenal live, and acoustic. Here is an acoustic version of “Medicine.” I haven’t seen them in person; just videos of live performances. If I ever get a chance to see them live, it would be an absolute bucket list moment (I don’t even have a bucket list, but if I did, seeing Daughter in concert would be the #1 item).

Back in 2015, I set out on a mission to get exposed to and listen to new music (indie/alternative as my genre of choice). I was working a temp job doing data entry and analysis where I could wear headphones and listen to music while working. I’m sure I did more searching and listening to music than I did working because once I started, I was ravenous. Music was a sacrifice I had made in my marriage, and I had just kicked my ex out for the first time, so I was filling the house with music.

I messaged friends to see what new stuff they were listening to, I followed some YouTube recommendations, and I started using Spotify. I also searched up what was new on the 4AD label as it was somewhat smaller and used to be pretty niche back in the day - and the label of some of my most favorite artists. It was through the 4AD Spotify channel that I happened upon Daughter. I was immediately hooked after hearing “Still.”

Lead singer, Elena Tonra has an incredible voice. The vocals, the music, shift in tones and pace, all just really struck me and sucked me in! I hadn’t heard anything like this before.

“Youth” was the second song I listened to, and again, I was immediately sucked in. Their lyrics are poetry.

Well, I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette
I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget
And my eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head when you broke my chest

After becoming obsessed with these two songs, I started going through their catalog. In early 2015, what they had available were 2 EPs that were released in 2011 (His Young Heart and The Wild Youth) and the album If You Leave (2013).

Some of my favorite songs are on the two early EPs. “Candles,” and “Landfill” from His Young Heart. “Medicine” is only available on The Wild Youth.

The whole album, If You Leave is just incredible. It has so many amazing, unique, beautiful, breathtaking songs. I’m going to link a bunch here (live versions) for you to peruse - as well as highlight some of the lyrics. Just a warning: do not obsessively listen to these songs for weeks on end if music has an emotional effect on you. I’m going to say that it’s a lot like listening to The Smiths over and over.

“Smother”

I should go now, quietly
Before my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep
Where all my layers can become reeds
All my limbs can become trees
All my children can become me
What a mess I leave
To follow

“Shallows”

Dry your smoke-stung eyes
So you can see the light
You're staring at the sky
Watching stars collide
Watching stars

“Tomorrow”

By tomorrow we'll be lost amongst the leaves
In a wind that chills the skeletons of trees
And when the moon, it shines, I will leave two lines
Just find my love, then find me

Don't bring tomorrow
'Cause I already know
I'll lose you

“Amsterdam”

I'm a flying kite in the breeze just
Restlessly
Seeking images a child needs to help them sleep
I've been thinking that I should
See someone
Just to find out if I'm alright

“Human” This one is more upbeat musically.

Waking up like an animal
I'm all ready for healing
My mind's lost with nightmares streaming
Waking up kicking screaming
Take me out of this place I'm in
Break me out of this shale case I'm in

Underneath the skin there's a human
Buried deep within there's a human
And despite everything I'm still human

While I was looking up some background information on the band, I noticed that Wikipedia lists them as indie/shoegaze. I was a little taken aback because I’m not sure that I would consider them shoegaze. But, as I was going through and listening to a lot of their live stuff to find the videos I wanted to link to, I could hear the shoegazey aspect. I decided I would ask my shoegaze expert friend what he thought. He said, “I don’t consider Daughter to be shoegaze, but they have similar aesthetics. They ride the line between dream-pop and indie folk quite well.” I couldn’t have said it any better, so I quoted him!

I’m a huge fan of Tiny Desk Concerts. Whenever anyone brings them up, I send them the link to Daughter’s Tiny Desk Concert from October 2013

The first single off their second album, Not to Disappear was released in September of 2015, at the height of my obsession with them.

The full album was released in January 2016. By this time, I was no longer working where I could listen to music, and I was giving my ex a second chance. He was more tolerant of my musical tastes, but that just meant we could listen to the local alternative channel instead of the hard rock or classic rock station. He was not very tolerant of my obsessive listening to certain artists (especially female). I didn’t get to know their second album as intimately as I did their first. I’m not sure whether I’ve actually sat down and listened to it in its entirety (something that I plan to remedy today). “Doing the Right Thing,” “Numbers,” and “No Care” are singles released from the album that I’ve listened to frequently. “How” was also released as a single, but I missed that one.

“No Care” is fantastic, and a bit of a departure as it’s super upbeat, and contains one of my favorite first lines ever: “No one asks me for dances because I only know how to flail”

They have a couple of excellent live covers/mashups that I would be remiss to not share! Whenever anyone asks for good cover songs, I always send these two!

In 2017, Daughter released another album, Music From Before the Storm, which was a game soundtrack for Life is Strange: Before the Storm. Most of the tracks are instrumental, which isn’t always my thing. “Burn it Down” is a pretty fantastic song and made my playlist (I will link that at the bottom)!

A friend sent me this video, which is another song off of Music From Before the Storm. It’s absolutely beautiful. I love it when some of their live songs include an orchestra (or string quartet, as in this case).

After the release of the game soundtrack, Elena Tonra released a solo project album titled Ex:Re at the end of 2018. January of 2018 is when I had my ex removed with a protective order. So, by November of 2018, I was back to my obsessive listening. This was absolutely on my radar and one of just a handful of albums I have purchased on Apple Music.

It’s start to finish a breakup album - quite a few years before Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department.²

Elena said of the album, “Although the record is written for someone, a lot of the time it’s about the space without that person in it. In every scenario, there's either the person in memory or the noticeable absence of that person in the present moment. I suppose it is a break-up record, however I do not talk about the relationship at all, and he hardly features in the scenes. He is only felt as a ghostly presence.”

-4AD.com

The first single, Romance, was released just a few days before the album dropped.

He pretends that he's understanding
And you know in the grand scheme of everything
He's probably called a nice man
Or an ordinary kind of man
Or a stereotype with strong hands

“The Dazzler” was the second single released.

Drunk in my hotel room
I look perfect
I look like I'm 24 before I caught your coldness
God I’m gorgeous

Again, as with so much of the Daughter catalog, the lyrics are incredible.

Daughter didn’t release another album, Stereo Mind Game, until April of 2023. The first single, Be On Your Way, was released January 9, 2023.

I got super excited and listened to the single quite a few times, and shared it out, but by the time the album was released in April, I had so many things going on in my life that I completely forgot all about it! Until…

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from their newsletter stating that the Middle Farm Session EP had been released to streaming services.

Of course, I immediately started listening to it - and even though they were back on my radar due to hearing “Medicine” on Shrinking, I hadn’t gone to check anything; I just went back to my playlist that I hadn’t updated since Ex:Re. When I realized that I didn’t recognize any of the songs on the Middle Farm Session, I listened to Stereo Mind Game (which is where all the tracks come from). They are both pretty great, and I have added a couple of tracks from them to my playlist (and will probably add more once I listen a few more times).

Here’s my playlist, which is, of course, back in my heavy rotation!

I hope you find some tracks you love! I’m super sad that the live covers (linked above) aren’t available on Spotify.

1. In this episode of Shrinking, “Medicine” by Daughter was immediately followed by “I Need My Girl” by The National, who I also adore - and became familiar with pretty much during the same time period. After doing some research, I discovered that Daughter toured with The National here in the US back in 2017.

2. Apparently, I need to do more research on breakup albums! I thought this was super unique and had only heard of this one and the one by Taylor Swift. I mean I know there have been a ton of breakup songs, but I didn’t realize there were other start to finish breakup albums! Looking for articles on Ex:Re, an article in the New Yorker listed Fiona Apple’s When the Pawn… as a breakup album, so now I’m going to have to revisit that one.