I have a great serious essay I’m plugging away at, but figured I would throw out something a bit more lighthearted today.
If you know me, you know that I’ve been going braless since Covid. I’m at a stage in my life and in my mentality, that IDGAF what anyone thinks about my appearance. OK, so I guess there are intercepts between the other essay I’m working on and this one, but anyway… Who tf decided that women had to wear bras? They are SO uncomfortable! I have an entire rant/ramble about this and the white male. If you’ve been lucky enough to experience me lately, you have probably received this ramble.
The other day, while running errands, I encountered a twin. She was pretty much the same size and body shape as me. She was also walking around with a T-shirt and her ladies in the wild. I was like “yay sister!” on one hand. On the other, I also assumed she was very low class, maybe had mental issues, and maybe even homeless… She also happened to be missing a tooth or two. I saw her twice because she was walking her way somewhere in the neighborhoods I was traveling in. As I was thinking this, I was thinking….um…everyone probably thinks all those same thoughts about you when they see you. And they wouldn’t really be mistaken on any of it. I’m not homeless, but likely look the part while out in public. I dress for comfort, not for appearance. I’m also stuck on my Smartass & Sass T-Shirts that have great sayings on them (“I saw what you did for a Klondike bar….call me”). I’m also missing a lower front tooth. I despise dental work with a passion - and there are many other issues that have kept me from doing something about that missing tooth - all of which are fairly complex.
My highly distracto brain (med issues - long story, which you will probably get at some point) also thought about how most people would perceive this person/me as uneducated and ignorant. But, here I am, walking around looking like trash, and no one would ever suspect that I was two classes and a dissertation shy of a PhD. I’m highly fucking educated. I’m really fucking smart too. Those are two different things. With as much jumble as my brain is in right now, there is also a nice slice of clarity in there somewhere.
This led me to think about the reason I had to stop shy of getting that PhD. I reached the lifetime maximum for student loans, and wasn’t able to get Grad Plus loans because by then our house in Wisconsin, even though the loan was only in my ex’s name, had gone through forclosure, and it went on my credit record as well because Wisconsin is a whatever (shitty ass) state. Right now, I owe $245,000 in student loans. That’s two fucking modest houses, or one really nice one. I’ve never been in a position to pay any of it. I have done the IBR plans since I ran out of forbearances, deferments, and ways to postpone payment. As long as I continue to apply and receive the IBRs for the next four years, I will have reached 10 years in repayment, and even though my IBR amount is zero and has always been zero, I should have my debt forgiven for sticking to the payment plan for 10 years. I still owe the online college about $4000 for when I had to drop out during that last semester because I had accepted a full-time temp job and a permanent part-time online teaching job. It was easy to drop out because it was going to be the last semester I could attend anyway. But while I was on this line of thinking, I thought that I really should pay that off at some point so that I can get my transcripts for step-ups in pay for my current teaching job. It may make a difference of $2 an hour in pay. $21 more a week… Won’t improve my station in life by much, but that’s at least a box of wine.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how educated I am. I’m still low class. I will always be low class.
But this week, I’m feeling bougie.
I was lucky enough to have a friend selling an almost new washer/dryer set for a steal of a price because she is moving.
I’m not worthy.
It’s a digital HE set.
She sold them for a quarter of what she paid.
I’m bougie af in my laundry room folks!
And to go along with that, I felt even more bougie when I offered the $9 I had in my purse, along with a six-pack of a craft IPA from a local brewery to my sister, brother, and his friend for picking them up, delivering them, and installing them.
Both my brother and his friend laughed their asses off when I pulled out the six-pack. They said “We don’t drink that shit. That shit’s for the beer snobs. We drink Miller Lite.”
I laughed, and said I wasn’t a huge fan of IPAs. I took my six-pack back and drank it that night while I was washing, drying, and folding load after load after load, making sure to be in the laundry room when the jolly music played indicating the machine was done.
I try to bougie up my life every year at tax refund time. Right now, my bougie ass has a Roomba, kick ass french door air fryer (Emeril of course), and countertop dishwasher - all sitting in boxes in my basement, waiting for my living room and kitchen to magically become less low class enough to put them in place. I made a space on my table to get out and use my ice maker last week because I needed ice water. I also finally got my new wifi enabled and app controlled air purifier out of the box and going last week.
Two days ago, I received a check that I forgot about expecting. After purchasing Jurassic World: Dominion tickets and concessions for yesterday, I stomped my ass into Walmart to further bougie up my kitchen with some state of the art garbage cans. We all deserve motion activated garbage and recycling cans. My old garbage can (which was actually not that old) reached the last straw with me a few days ago when my dogs dug out a bunch of nasty shit and chewed it all up all over the living room. Between the dogs being able to swing the door (but mostly it’s kids overfilling the can so the lid doesn’t stay over the garbage), and the fact that it was like a fraction of a fucking inch too large for regular kitchen bags (and you had to really stretch them to make them fit and they would constantly rip), I was completely over it.
I did absolutely argue with three Walmart employees over their stupid price match policies while checking out in the self-checkout. The cans were 39.98 in their app, where I could have ordered and picked them up at that price. I just didn’t want to wait on their order pickup timeline, or trust their employees to actually see the items on the shelf. They were $47.98 on the shelf. When I asked to do the price match, when they scanned the cans with their walmart employee scanner, they came up $43.98 and they tried to say that was the best price match they could do. I called bs. It’s ridiculous that I could have just saved myself the time and effort of walking into the store and purchased the exact same garbage cans, having their shoppers pick them up off the shelf instead of me. But, having had the joy of online ordering from Walmart over the last couple of years, their employees wouldn’t have been able to find the right cans and would have replaced them with cans I did NOT want… Anyway, they finally agreed and did the proper price match. After 20 minutes and three different ranks of employees. I have a serious vent about all of these price match places. They all have ridiculous restrictions that make it just idiotic.
Anyway…
I’m going to take my white trash, bougie ass, T-shirt, no bra and all, out to meet some friends tonight at an upper class type of bar (that has craft beer on tap). And I’m going to have fun!
~~~Stay classy folks!
Love,
Kristin
Don’t change! 😘