Self Care
And when to tell when you are overdue for some!
So, the other night, when the elderly lady told me “Yer boob fell out,” she had said something else to me when I first got there…
That day was particularly packed and rough. It was a super rush to get things done and get there on time! Like I said in my last post, I had planned on changing my shirt before I left, but I just didn’t have time. When I got to her house, I probably let out a big sigh as I sat on her couch, and let out some of the pressure and anxiety that had been building up because once I got there, I could relax. The lady and I just hang out and watch Westerns all night (she sleeps about as well as I do) until she needs to use the restroom, and that’s easy enough because I just have to help her out of her chair and walk behind her and the walker and make sure she doesn’t fall. I change her adult diaper if it’s wet while she’s sitting on the toilet, and she does everything else. Then I help her get up and back to the walker and walk behind her to her chair. Once she’s back in the chair, I lift the leg of the recliner and position the pillow under her legs to keep the swelling down. It’s almost like a vacation for me.
She looked at me and said “Don’t worry about me. I’m good. You don’t need to take care of me tonight. Just take care of yourself. You look like you don’t take care of yourself.”
I was a bit taken aback, and not sure whether I should be offended or what. I decided to take it as acknowledging and not offensive. I just said “Well, I’m here to take care of you! It’s my job tonight. So, whatever you need!”
She asked “You don’t take care of yourself do you?'“
“Well, I have kids.” I said. Because that explains it all to me. “You had three, so you know what it’s like. A mom takes care of herself last.”
She nodded.
That was Saturday night. On Wednesday, when I had my virtual therapy session and was telling my therapist everything I had done in the past week, she told me that I also needed to be sure to take time to engage in some self care. She said whether it’s ten minutes a day doing something for yourself or watching a show or a movie. So, she too could see that I was in need of some self care.
I must be wearing it out on myself for all to read. But, then again, I’m not one that does ANYTHING that requires maintenance. I don’t do makeup - I wear my hair short, so I don’t even have to comb it… bite my nails, could give two shits about what kind of clothing is in fashion…etc… My style could be described as “spends NO time or thought.” Hahaha! And I could care less. I’ve never gotten my nails done or a pedicure at a salon, and only once went and had a massage, and that was only because it was a bridal shower gift from a sister-in-law. I have visited a hair salon a handful of times, but now I just cut it myself because of time, and the fact that I hate making appointments. I even discovered color depositing shampoo, so I don’t have to dye my hair anymore. Now that my hair has so much gray, the colors come out pretty vibrant.
My kids did therapy twice last week - her week starts on Sunday, so she came one night last week and then again on Sunday. I can’t remember which day she said it to me, but she also said that I needed to really concentrate on carving out some time for myself because I was in need of some self care.
After hearing from three people that I really needed to engage in some self-care activities, I was totally down for Sunday Bloody Mary Sunday at one of my favorite local craft breweries with my favorite group of people when a friend texted me the time. I couldn’t get my kids dropped at their dad’s fast enough! Hahaha!! I’m totally joking. It was bittersweet dropping them off this time because I had them for two weeks, their dad will have them for the next two weeks, and then when I get them back they have two days before school starts! I’m not ready for that. The summer went entirely too fast! My youngest admitted to the therapist on Sunday that as soon as July hit he started getting nervous about the impending school year. That makes sense because he’s been so completely challenging and unmanageable for the past month, and that really explains it!
In the meantime, I apparently need to come up with some kind of regular self-care schedule, and figure out what that really means for me. Apparently indulging in craft beer isn’t the answer. Even if it is Closet Witch Saison!! (BTW: it was delicious! Go get you some at Wake while they still have it!)
What do you do to refresh or replenish? I need ideas!!! Hit me up! And please, no “go take a daily walk” I’m not into exercise (you would know this if you saw me and my beer belly!).
Anyway, I’m going to try for at least one more season of “Shameless” this week without falling asleep on the first episode I start! I’m two episodes into season 2!
<3 Kristin <3