Letting the Days Go By
Same as it ever was
I spent a large portion of the past couple of weeks revisiting the catalog of the Talking Heads. I woke up one day with the lyrics “Home is where I want to be, but I guess I’m already there” on repeat in my head. I had no idea what the title of the song was, so Googled until I found it. It’s “This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody).” When I asked Alexa to play it, I may not have said it right, or she didn’t hear me right, so she just started playing random Talking Heads songs, and I just went with it.
Some of their songs don’t have obvious titles and refer to just one line of the song and not the chorus.
Same with the song that I used lyrics for the title and subtitle here. That song’s title is “Once in a Lifetime,” which is one line of the song. I had to Google the lyrics earlier and that’s when I realized they were “letting the days go by,” not “and the days go by,” which is what I was originally going to title this newsletter (and have been singing since the 80s). Honestly, I was first going to title it something else (can’t recall now) with “same as it ever was” for the subtitle and figured I should just go all in with the lyrics.
The Talking Heads is a band I have always loved and appreciated, but somehow never purchased any albums, cassettes, or CDs (which is why I don’t know the names of the songs if they aren’t obvious!). When I would close at the video store (89-mid to late 90s), I would often pop in Stop Making Sense (1984) (shhh, but I would sometimes throw it in a little before closing time so I could listen to the whole thing. We weren’t really supposed to be watching movies, but the trailer tapes got old fast). Once in a while, I would throw in Rattle and Hum (1988), but eight times out of ten it was Stop Making Sense (1984).
Watching the video for “Once in a Lifetime” to post it here (for your pleasure) brought me back to a distinct memory involving this video. I’m not sure that my youngest sister would remember it as fondly as I do. It had to have been 1990-1991. My mom worked all the jobs and all the shifts. She worked a third shift factory job, a part time hostess job at a hotel restaurant close to our townhouse, and did office cleaning, as well as weekend overnight restaurant cleaning (this was a family affair, as we would all go to get the restaurants cleaned faster- I definitely have stories about this, but will save them for later).
My best friend Jane and I had dropped acid one night, and were still up in the morning when my mom got home from her third shift job. She was tired, and declared a “national skip day,” which she did on a somewhat regular basis. My youngest sister was upset and wanted to go to school (she was not a fan of “national skip days”.) My mom volunteered me and my friend to take her. Surely not knowing that we are under any kind of influence. We were likely on the downslide anyway.
What I remember so vividly is me and Jane dancing to the video for Once in a Lifetime. We were mimicking the dancing in the video and distracting my sister from getting ready for school. She was so mad. She yelled at us, “I’m trying to brush my hair!” I’m pretty sure we had been watching a VHS tape that I had recorded from MTV (back when they actually played music videos) and kept rewinding it and replaying it over and over, dancing around and in front of her, delaying her ability to get ready for school. She also liked to be punctual. When we finally left to take her, I drove around the school at least three times, giving her a hard time about being late.
I’m not going to say I was the best big sister, but I definitely exposed her to some great music!
Asking her about the incident the other day, she said that we drove around the block three times because we wouldn’t let her out until the song was over, but she couldn’t remember which song. That sounds like something I would do. You always have to finish the song before you can get out of the car!
My mom chimed in too with a piece of forgotten info (the three of us were having lunch together to celebrate my sister’s birthday). Apparently, my sister’s music teacher saw us drive around the block, and asked my sister if she had gotten out of the ladybug car, and told her how cute she thought it was!
Anyway, that was a huge sidetrack. What’s on my mind now, is what’s on my mind every mid-July. Summer is almost over and I’ve done nothing fun with my kids! Same as it ever was! This seems to happen every summer! Every mid-July (or sooner) when the school supplies start coming out at Walmart, I get this huge pang in my stomach. We did nothing all summer!
I have great expectations every summer. This summer I planned on taking the kids to the Y several times a week at a minimum.
What happened was. I got busy and tired. They spent the summer staying up all night playing video games and sleeping all day. That’s what happens every summer.
May was busy. My oldest was graduating. There was prom, the grad party, the graduation. Then the three younger kids had two weeks left of school… I had a vendor event the weekend after graduation and ended up testing positive for Covid the day after that. I did a lot of work with my daughter to get her to pass classes that last week of school.
With four of them and one of me, the two younger boys both ended up failing their English classes of all things. There are things to be said about the squeaky wheels and the fact that I am an English teacher!!!!! I beat myself up a ton. And had long talks with both boys. I just don’t have it within my ability to pay attention to all four at once. I had my attention on the oldest two.
I have no idea what is in store for the youngest. I sent a long email to his English teacher and copied the principal as well as his previous special Ed teacher because he requested to be taken off of his IEP after the first semester, and had been doing so great. He made first honors that semester! He actually got all As and maybe a B second semester aside from failing his English class. I’m not sure if he will have to repeat 7th grade English or what. No one ever responded to my email.
The other son had to attend “credit recovery” for English starting the week after school ended. It was from 8 am to 11 am Monday through Thursday until he finished or July 18th. So much for my not having to wake kids up for school. That’s the part of summer that I enjoy most! He did end up finishing a week early.
My oldest did a summer internship with the Midwest Writing Center - their Young Emerging Writer’s program. I was so happy to see that the meetings were held in the evenings from 5:30 - 8:00. I didn’t think I would have to spend my life waking him up for something that started in the evening. Ha. I ended up having to wake him up a LOT.
The whole summer went by entirely too fast with one thing after another going on. It seems to be the way every summer. I regret not doing more with the kids. I regret not being able to go on any kind of vacation. I regret not taking them to do things in general. But, in reality, I don’t believe they care. I think they enjoy just being able to relax and spend time playing games and watching YouTube. I probably care a lot more than they do.
They are also at that stage where there isn’t a whole lot that they will enjoy going out and doing. Those teenage years! Most of the “fun” summer activities are for the younger crowd. They enjoy going out to eat, but as soon as they are done eating they are ready to get back home to their games… They do enjoy going to the movies, so I will probably take them to a movie this week (I joined the Cinemark movie club, and I save up ticket credits until I have 5, so that way it’s not breaking the bank in one fail swoop!)
I just hope they appreciate the summers of “letting the days go by” more than I regret them.
I did something a bit exciting for myself this summer. Small gesture, but a reconnection to my past. I got out my vinyl collection! What remains of it anyway. I sold a lot off while I was in college to buy food and such. So, look forward to that post which will hopefully be coming soon!! It’s my way of trying to break my posting block that I’ve had going on since May!
I may have to remedy the fact that I own nothing by the Talking Heads!
Speaking of the Talking Heads and Stop Making Sense, if you missed it, there was a tribute album released this May! Everyone’s Getting Involved: A Tribute to Talking Heads’ Stop Making Sense.
Nothing but Flowers is my favorite, close second is Sax and Violins.