Another Elderly Story to Add
Had almost forgotten about this one! And it's good!
This should have been in my last essay - but, man it was long enough, so bless you readers who made it all the way through!
It was kind of an ironic situation, as I’ve had elder care at the front of my mind for a while with my friend’s parents, my mom’s friend… and so many other stories I’ve heard.
Last weekend I went to pick my kids up at their dad’s. While they were loading and I was getting updates from their dad, my daughter came in and told me that the lady next door wanted to talk to me. It’s a duplex, so the lady is living on the other side.
I went over and she was at the door with her walker and motioned me to step inside. I asked her if she needed help with something - after doing caretaking with my friends’ parents it was actually kind of a welcome situation, and I was glad I was there to help her with what she needed. It was also pretty apparent from the state of her coffee table and where things were stacked in her living room that she was a person who wasn’t able to get around well.
She told me to go into her kitchen and get her debit card from the desk. The debit card was there on top and an overflowing desk full of receipts. Subway, Dollar General, North Scott Foods… It was a little concerning to me that she had never met me before and was having me go get something for her with her debit card.
She told me that she needed Depends. I asked her if they come in different sizes and what size would she need. She said “Medium. Those larges just fall down every time I stand up.” We laughed.
“Oh, also can you get me a bottle of vodka?”
“Ok, what kind?” she told me the kind, she said it was the cheapest, and I don’t remember what she said (maybe McCormick?). When she said Depends, I thought cool, I can just go to Dollar General. When she said vodka, I thought darn, either North Scott Foods - where the Depends will be more expensive, but they have both products… or Dollar General AND the liquor store… which meant having to go two different places… I was ready to just go home with the kids and get them unpacked and settled for the night because I had dinner and grading to do. I really didn’t want to go two places and didn’t want to pay an obnoxious amount for Depends, even though it wasn’t even my money.
As I was leaving her door and walking past the kids’ dad’s door he asked me what she wanted. I laughed and said “Depends and Vodka!” What an order. He gave me a look and pulled me farther away from her door and whispered: “Do NOT get her vodka! Her person who takes care of her and her stuff told me NOT to get her any vodka. She gets crazy when she has vodka.”
“Ok. What do I tell her though?”
“Tell her they were out, or whatever, just do NOT get her any vodka.” He said.
When I got to the car the kids asked what the lady wanted. I told them “Depends and vodka! But your dad told me that her caretaker told him not to get her any. We are just going to go get her some depends from Dollar General.”
Then, of course, two of the kids wanted to come in and spend their leftover reward money from the previous week. They helped me find the Depends and each checked out on their own.
When I got back to the lady’s house and handed her the Depends and put her card back on the desk, I turned to her and said “I’m sorry, but they were all out of vodka.” I knew she knew better.
“Oh. Well, you have to go to the liquor store because North Scott Foods doesn’t always have it.” I know they are usually well-stocked on all liquors, so I had a feeling she’d been told that before. “Can you go get me some at the liquor store?”
“I’m sorry, but I really can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t feel comfortable buying you vodka.”
“What? Why not?”
Forced with that, I felt like I needed to tell her. “I was told not to buy you vodka. I’m sorry. Is there someone else that you could call to do that for you?”
“They won’t be here until tomorrow. I need vodka today. I really need some today.”
“I’m so sorry.” I said, and I truly felt bad that I didn’t get any for her. I saw and recognized that desperation in her face and voice.
“Can you take me then?” She asked.
“I’m so sorry, but my kids are in the car and there isn’t room to take you anywhere.”
She was so upset, and I was upset for her.
“So you really can’t go get me any?” She asked. And that’s when she indicated that’s what all of her caretakers tell her as well. She put her head down, and man, I so felt for her at that moment.
When I got back to the car, I told my kids “If I am ever in that situation and I ask for vodka, for the love of God, get me some vodka!”
When I dropped my kids off the following Sunday, I thought damn, I should have brought that lady one of those small bottles and slid it in her door.
When relating the story to my mom and sister today, they both said they absolutely would have gotten her the vodka. She’s an adult. She should have what she wants. My sister and I agreed that basically whatever our mom asks for, we get her! If she asked us for vodka, we wouldn’t think twice about getting it for her.
During one of my conversations with my friend about her parents, she stated “Whatever my mom wants right now, I’m getting it for her. If she wants wine, she can have wine. If she wants weed, I’ll let her smoke weed. Whatever she wants, she’s getting!”
When I’m that age, or in that position, someone best be around to get me my wine!!
~~~~Kristin
Like my writing? Support it here by buying me a coffee